This is a letter, written to my younger self that was so wrapped up in intrepid dismay from day to day, trapped in scrutiny of my own reflection. There were time’s when I would rather hide away from the world than embrace it. I want an end to wasted youth. I want the world to embrace the revelry that I have found in later life.
Dear Younger Self,
I’m writing to you as I creak towards 40, to let you know that one day, you’ll be kind to yourself.
You’ll be able to look upon your reflection, without an ounce of negative apprehension. Even if that sounds as though it will come a thousand years from now. It will happen I promise.
You’ll be kind to yourself, and wish for nothing but good health.
Vanity is a good distraction from the beauty that exists in the world. The beauty of seeing the ones you love smile. The beauty of the sun as it sets while you sit by the side of the man you love as you recount all of the triumphs that you have seen in the name of love.
Even if it seems a millennia away, you’re going to find your purpose. You can’t see it yet, but you’re life is going to transform in ways you can’t imagine. So keep your mind open, and your eyes off the weighing scales.
All of the little idiosyncrasies that you hold, will be what makes you proud in the future. You’ll find someone that loves you for them, not in spite of them. Keep faith in yourself, I won’t lie, you’ll turn grey, but the world will keep turning I promise. You’re body will change in ways that will tell the tale of the test of time. You’ll find that there are people in life that will try and make you guilty for the way you are. They can cause you a world of hurt, but not if you let them. Surround yourself with the people that love you and celebrate the person you are. Because even if you change your body, it won’t change your life.
Your time will be better spent worrying about something other than your figure. Explore the world outside of your skin. Discover literature, discover art, learn about every corner of the world you can explore.
One day you’ll be kind to yourself. You’ll be able to step outside, when summer times in bloom, and think of nothing but the sun hitting your skin, instead of the blemishes. Some come and go, but others dance in the revelry on our skin. Painting our bodies in a life time of memories. Because there’s more to life than aesthetic, you can’t go on so deflated and apathetic blind to the beauty that stands before you, that’s so plain to see.
You’ve got so much love to give, yet you’re your own worst critic, the reasons to hate yourself are so prolific. That lack of self esteem, can prevent you from getting what you want out of life, it can fool you into believing you’re not worthy.
I want you to know you’re beautiful, and so you will be until your dying day. Beauty is more than what’s seen in the eye of the beholder, it doesn’t diminish by the time you’re older. You might need a little time, to think this over, but once you’ve seen the forest for the tree’s, you’ll see all of the bumps on the road are part of the journey. Life was never intended to be easy, yet as you grow, you’ll find a deeper understanding.
You can be you’re own worst enemy if you choose, every fight you’ll be determined to lose if you don’t believe in yourself. If you don’t transcend the monotony of measuring your thighs, as you wonder if they appeal to the eyes of the passers by.
Youth and beauty aren’t achievements, because ageing inevitable, take it from someone who knows, I’ve hit all of the bumps in the road, I’ve travelled for miles, and I’ve still got miles further until I’m at my own final destination.
Dear younger self, I wish I had done it sooner. We live in a culture that celebrates youth and beauty.
Don’t waste these younger years, they’re more precious than you’ll ever know. Even though I’ve gained a few pounds, my skin has started to sag, hairs spring up in places that they never did never but I’ve never felt more beautiful. When I look in the mirror I don’t see a list of imperfections that I could spend a life time rehearsing, because whether you’re fat or thin, or falling victim for each new media spin, the reality is that the world is bigger than how you look.
Even if you hate your own skin true friends will love you, men will see how beautiful you truly are, and it won’t get in the way of success. What really matters is your strength. That’s what will get you through the testing times, not your beauty, the greatest myth of all that perfection exists. There are more achievements than losing weight.
One day you’ll see your body as a friend instead of your own worst enemy, there are greater battles to be fought. Time spent comparing yourselves to others is wasted time, and if there’s one thing that is truly ugly, it’s bitterness and contempt. Let the lines grow through happiness & laughter instead of anger.
love Amelia Vandergast
P.S. Food is meant to be eaten.